Trading Parking Spaces
It seems to me that if stupidity was against the law, half of the country would be in jail. This is especially true when it comes to parking a car.
I was at the bank the other day, politely waiting for another driver to back his car out and leave. This was an extremely excruciating experience (a great alliteration) since the old fart that was trying to get out took at least sixteen maneuvers to do it. Compounding the situation was this young lady (an obvious sarcasm), who decided to quickly move by me, crowd him and take the parking space I was waiting for. I wanted to get out of the truck and pummel her and kick him in his ass, but I didn’t, I calmly (seething) moved to another area, parked, and got out. She walked passed me into the bank as if nothing had happened. I wondered if she were so dense she didn’t even know what she had done.
A few years ago, I was waiting at the downtown Baltimore post office for a space for over 5 minutes. If anyone has ever tried to get parking there on a busy day, they know it is difficult. Just as a driver was slowly pulling out, a black Mercedes sped passed me and moved quickly into the space.
I pulled up, got out of the truck, approached the guy, and called him everything but a child of god. One of the postal police force saw what was happening and came quickly over. I thought, “Oh shit! Now I’m going to have more problems!”
He asked what was going on and I told him as the other SOB stood there smugly. To my surprise, the officer tore into the other guy and ripped him a new a-hole. You see I’m this big white guy and they were both black. Goes to show you, good sense and parking problems knows no color.
The very next week, I was at another local post office trying to park on the street. I pulled up and was about to parallel park when a driver in a smaller vehicle pulled into the space behind me, got out and moved quickly to the building. I got out and yelled at him and asked what the hell he was doing. He smiled and just kept going. I was thoroughly pissed.
I got back in, went down about a block, turned around and began to back into another space on the other side of the street. The same damn thing happened again. This time it was a father and his kids. I got out again and lit into him. He came over and back talked to me about how I was using foul language in front of his daughters. I told him it wouldn’t be necessary if he wasn’t such an inconsiderate ass-hole. He should be ashamed of himself for being such a bad example to them. It was like bouncing wet shit off a Teflon wall; I knew nothing was sticking.
At that point, I got back into my truck and headed back to the office, wondering out loud (talking to myself), if there shouldn’t be a law allowing us to beat the crap out of people like that without going to jail. It would be a public service.
Obviously I have mellowed somewhat since then, at lest a little. Now I just rant, but it would be nice to knock them around a little.
For Stomping Rights,